Canadian Bacon Flu

On a very last minute business trip to Montreal I felt rather ill. I must have looked pretty awful because everyone was asking me if I had the Swine Flu. The flight attendant said I looked like I was “really hating life right now.” Well, yeah—since we were stuck on a freezing plane for 2 hours before taking off. She was kind enough to move me to some empty seats where I could lay down. Then the woman across the aisle requested to be moved away from me. I guess I don’t blame her... A herd of pigs in Canada caught the virus from a Canadian who recently visited Mexico. But I wasn’t near those pigs! Hell, I don’t even like Canadian bacon.

The hysteria is a bit out of control. Restaurants aren’t serving pork... I had to wear a mask in the doctor’s office waiting room... By the way, my doctor assures me I DO NOT have Swine Flu! (No one believes you just have a teeny cold when you’re a known pig lover during a pig flu epidemic.)