Review: Five Guys Burgers & Fries

Dinner at Five Guys on 7th Ave between 6th & 7th in Park Slope.

Bacon cheeseburger:

Peanut butter. Bacon. Burger??

My plans for Saturday already include a trip to Shake Shack to try the custard of the day: Pancakes & Bacon. I am all for bacon is desserts—bacon in anything really. Bacon is great on burgers. Bacon is great with peanut butter. But what to make of this very limited Shack offer (available this Saturday at the UWS location only): a peanut butter bacon burger? Could be interesting. Imagine beef satay sprinkled with bacon... that sounds tasty! But for some reason I just can’t see that combination being super awesome in a burger. And since I won’t be trekking all the way uptown, I guess I’ll never know.

Review: Ultimate Burgers & Dogs

Dinner at Ultimate Burgers & Dogs on Degraw between Court & Clinton in Carroll Gardens.

Bacon-wrapped dog with cheddar cheese:

Best Bacon of 2009

I started rating bacon at the beginning of this year so as it comes to a close it seems appropriate to take a look back at the best bacon I’ve had this year. Below is a list of all the 4-strip ratings of 2009... Happy New Year!

Sala - datil (dates stuffed with almonds, wrapped in bacon)

Applewood - applewood smoked bacon

Char No. 4 - cheesy bacon grits

S’mac - 4 cheese mac with slab bacon

Salt - honey-glazed, bacon wrapped dates

Char No. 4 - grilled asparagus with bacon dressing

Irving Mill - bacon cheddar burger

Hale & Hearty - sweet corn chowder with bacon

Nolita House - mac & cheese with bacon

Permanent Brunch - Hungarian smoked kolozsvari

(also available at Grateful Palate)

Review: Irving Mill

Dinner at Irving Mill on 16th & Irving near Union Square.

Irving Mill Burger with cheddar & bacon:

Review: Red Hat Bistro

Lunch at Red Hat in Irvington NY.

Red Hat burger with bacon:

FREE BACON!

There’s a catch—it comes on a fast food burger. And you all know I don’t eat fast food burgers. But you never know, maybe they’re really good. Best way to find out is for free (with purchase of any soft drink). Try Arby’s BBQ Bacon Cheddar Roast Burger before Monday (expires 7/13)!

Review: Marseille

Brunch at Marseille on 9th & 44th in Hell’s Kitchen.

Bacon cheeseburger:

Review: Bonnie’s Grill

Dinner at Bonnie’s on 5th Ave & 1st in Park Slope.

Kobe beef gorgonzola stuffed burger with bacon:

NOTE: This burger is not part of the regular menu.

Sex and Fast Food

We all know sex sells. So what could possibly make bacon sexier? I think it’s pretty damn alluring on it’s own... but Carl’s Jr. (who caused one woman to call 911 to enforce her bacon cheeseburger) has Top Chef’s Padma Lakshmi to make their Western Bacon Thickburger even more appealing. I haven’t seen the ads as there are no Carl’s in the NYC area. According to an LA Times article, Lakshmi is practically fucking the burger. Hot woman + hot burger? I can see how men can enjoy this. Is it objectifying women & sexualizing fast food? I personally think it's awesome to see a sexy, slim woman eating a greasy, bacon-laden burger. It’s certainly a change from the baconistic commercials we’re used to seeing. I often lust after the most unhealthy of food choices (and then proceed to eat them). However, I doubt I’ll ever have the desire to eat a fast food burger—no matter how sexy it is.

“Is your breadmeat lackluster?”

For only $7.99 you can have your very own bottle of Squeez Bacon! Each bottle contains 16 servings—that’s like 64 slices of bacon! Scary part: a 12 year shelf life, no refrigeration needed. But hey... even bacon is made better with a squirt of Squeez Bacon.

Review: The Redhead

Dinner at the Redhead on 13th between 1st and 2nd Aves.

The Redhead burger with Neuske’s applewood-smoked bacon:

A Bacon Filled Weekend

Friday night I had dinner at the Redhead in the East Village. I've heard good things about the food but really... I went for the bacon peanut brittle. It has a spiciness that overpowers the bacon flavor but overall I still say it's a great combination. Every thing’s better with bacon, right? Including the bacon cheese burger I ordered.

Several hours and several bars later, I ended up at the Double Down Saloon for their infamous bacon martini which did in fact come with a slim jim stirrer. Although I very much enjoyed it, I believe this was the drink that did me in. I don’t quite recall the rest of the night... 

With a massive hang over, I woke up Saturday afternoon and made my way over to The Farm on Adderly. Not even a huge side of bacon could get me out of my zombie-like state (damn you, Double Down!). What better way to deal with a bacon martini hang over than with more and more bacon? After a nice walk from Ditmas Park to Windsor Terrace, I stopped in at Hot Diggity Dog for a bacon and cheese dog. Finally I felt somewhat human again. Thanks to Lieh for taking the hot dog pics and for putting up with my pamphagous appetite for bacon!

Sunday should have been my day to rest but there was the Great Greenpoint Mac-Off which I was sure would involve bacon at some point. Unfortunately the 1st of 4 places ran out of their mac & cheese with bacon and the rest didn't include bacon. Stupid Greenpoint... 

Still hungry and disappointed, I headed over to the Smoke Joint in Fort Greene for something to satisfy my pork craving. There was no bacon here but I have never, ever had a hot dog as amazing as their black angus dog topped with pulled pork. Last month I had high hopes for the bacon wrapped, deep fried Chang Dog at PDT. What a let down... but the bacon was not a fault—Crif Dogs are really awful! Guess bacon doesn’t make everything better.

Review: Richard’s Tiki Bar

Lunch at Richard’s on Las Olas Beach in Ft. Lauderdale, FL.

Inside-out blue cheese and bacon mini burgers: 

Bacon Cheeseburger Emergency

Some people will go to any lengths to get their bacon cheeseburger done right...

A 911 dispatcher tells an irate fast food customer, "Ma'am, we're not going to go down there and enforce your Western bacon cheeseburger." Someone should have told this crazy woman that you can't get the Western at Burger King.

Review: The Lovin’ Cup Cafe

Dinner at the Lovin’ Cup Cafe on N6th between Berry and Wythe in Williamsburg.

Mini burgers with applewood smoked bacon and cheddar:

The Scent of Seduction

Many of you know that I've never had a fast food burger before. So I don't know if this post is appropriate. Does the Whopper have bacon on it? 

If so, behold Flame by BK—the body spray that captures the essence of the famous burger. Visit the Flame-inspired Fire Meets Desire website and a deep voice (accompanied by porn-like music) coaxes you to "Come on baby, give it a spray." Each spray leads you to a new "romantic" scenario including this disturbing fire scene with the King himself—who oddly reminds me of a certain bearded ex-boyfriend. Hmm... no Flame for me thank you. 

Being Baconistic

Pretty funny Miller commercial. But a bit baconist, don't you think ladies? Much like this Wendy's commercial. Why do advertisers always assume bacon love is exclusive to men?? I may not be some fat dude frying things up shirtless—but my desire for bacon is no less enthusiastic.