Will Do Yoga for Bacon

As some of you may know, my new years resolution is to start taking better care of myself. This includes eating somewhat better and definitely exercising a lot more. And since I’ve not actually worked out in 5-6 years that shouldn’t be a super hard task...

To start, I took out my deflated, dusty balance ball thing. The reason I gave it up all those years ago is, one: it made me feel stupid & uncoordinated, and two: after I got the hang of it, I didn’t feel I was getting much of a workout. That could be due to the DVD I was using which is based on a lot of yoga crap. I’m not the biggest fan of yoga—all the breathing & the “creating space within yourself.” What the fuck does that mean? But... alas, the baconista blog has taken it's toll so I decided to get some new DVDs focused on targeting problem areas (i.e. my pork belly).

I’ve been pretty motivated to do these awful work outs that caused me to experience soreness for the 1st time in my life. No pain, no gain... or rather loss (of 3-4 lbs. which is a lot on a 5' person). Still, people keep telling me yoga is good for you, it helps you lose weight and calms your mind, etc. Sorry, I don’t think anyone can ever convince me to take a class. However... this “yoga for the Everyman” class may come close, well, if the Grateful Dead wasn’t the class’ standard playlist. He uses bacon as a “yogic teaching tool, providing an opportunity to contemplate principles of attraction and revulsion, desire and self-denial,” whatever that means. I guess I just don’t get yoga speak... but if there’s bacon involved I will pretend I do.